• Caroline Hey

The Tough Nights


The Tough Nights


Hello beautiful Souls,

Welcome to Somatic Balance.108, I am Caroline Hey, your mindfulness practitioner. In this Blog Post, I’d like to talk to you about the tough nights.


The nights that finish at ‘stupid o’clock’ and you simply can’t go back to sleep. Waking up some time between 1.30-3.30am and your brain is on fire at a million miles an hour.


By the time the your normal morning alarm rings, you are over it before it started. Sleep deprived, and moody. Your mind spent the last few hours telling you all about yourself/ all the things you don’t like hearing. Showing you all the things in your life that are kind of out of line.


The upcoming bill you don’t know how to pay for; that person at work playing nice but actually stabbing you in the back at the next annual review with your boss; that ache in your body that just doesn’t want so subside; and not to forget the long overdue holiday you won’t take because you can’t afford not to work.


Sounds familiar? Jup, welcome to life.


Good news. It's all not that bad.

Your brain needs those dummy spits every now and then to make space - and to look for better solutions than the current approach.

The trick is to allow these phases to move through. Call work that morning and tell them you'll come in a little later. Tell them the 'truth'. Tell them you had a rough night. Tell them, you are happy to still show up, you just need a little more time to get it together.

You will be surprised how often managers will appreciate your truth. It's not a big of a deal. Depending on the workflow, they might offer you the full day off as a 'mental health day'.

Win- Win.


Why?

Because employers are (mostly) very aware that you are of no good use if you are distracted with life. They want all of you. To get all of you, they happily give you one recovery day if that makes you even more productive the day after as you will work harder to make up for the lost time.

Most of them don't care enough to care that you are away. They care more about you being there in full swing.


So, what to do with your unplanned day off? - Wallow!

I officially allow you to wallow in your life despair for a few hours and move through all of what emerges.

However, to do so, you must do so with a certain level of presence.


Don't just be a blob.

Actually listen to your thoughts. What is it exactly that you are going through in your mind.

What is it, that you are feeling?

Anger, disappointment, sadness, overwhelm, fear, restlessness, unheard, unseen, lonely, alone, hungry, sleepy, shame, lack of love, lack of touch, lack of intimacy... ?


Take a pen and paper and do a word dump, a brain vomit, a worry time exercise.


Do it in a way that serves you. You might just want to write down random words, or full sentences, or even structured with 1st money, 2nd home life, 3rd health... whatever it is, in whichever way it feel good for you.

Let it out! Onto paper! Not your phone, or computer, or any other digital form...


PEN AND PAPER!


Writing it with pen on paper is a somatic release exercise. Your brain is biochemically releasing these worries when using the motion of writing by hand, and seeing the release through visual proof on the paper.


And even better, you could go one step further. Once it's all dumped, and out of your system, you can physically destroy it. Either crunch it up in a ball and toss it, or rip it to shreds and toss it, or if the space allows, burn it (safely!!!) to release all the tense energy.


Another step to healing from short-term overwhelm is to share your discomfort in a brief message to a true friend.

Simply write, without over-sharing, "I am struggling today. Life is just a bit much :( " or similar.

Nothing to alarm them, no unsolicited emotional dump onto them, just a brief share.

Most true friends will get back to you in their time and confirm their love for you.

If they do ask, share briefly. Do not dump all your notes onto them. They have a life too, and they might be struggling too.

Some form of response might be, "Nothing in particular, just one of those days, thank you for asking.". Or respond with what feels comfortable.


If you are in a family setting with partner and children, speak up. Tell your partner openly that you need a break, and that you need her/ him to step up to the plate today and take over for the morning shift. Or even the full day if needed.

Be a team. The team you vowed to be in the beginning of your relationship.


If you have been following and reading my blogs, you will have established a great base for such "uncomfortable conversations".


Claiming your individual space in a relationship is the baseline for a healthy relationship.


If you'd like to learn to communicate with your partner better, book here:

https://www.carolinehey.com/contact


With loving kindness,

Caroline

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