hissy fit
Noun INFORMAL•NORTH AMERICAN
an angry outburst; a temper tantrum.
Hello beautiful Souls,
Welcome to Somatic Balance.108, I am Caroline Hey, your mindfulness practitioner. In this Blog Post, I’d like to talk to you about the “hissy fit”, or an adult “tantrum”.
Why letting your kids win is important to their development and future approach to life, career and relationships.
We keep seeing such playful conditioning in the animal kingdom. The famous image of an adult lion being snapped by his cub, and roaring in pain, pretending the cub has conquered its prey.
Yet, we've lost that skill completely amongst us homosapien in the western world.
Why is it, that a full grown adults in its thirties or forties chuck a tantrum when losing a board game, or a Saturday Night with mates, or a Sunday afternoon with the family?
Well, zoom out for a moment and look at the big picture, that person's life and it's patterns.
Is that person driven, yet never really gets on top of life? Or is that person an extremely wealthy and successful business person? Or is that person a mediocre, lower income tier individual?
That my friends is, almost, a clear give away.
Type 1
Generally, the winner in any game.
Loses once, changes its tactic accordingly and then starts winning small wins first till they build a significant gap to the 2nd player.
Personality: Most likely established in his/ her career. High IQ, potentially mediocre EQ. Dealing with set-backs by being resourceful, investigative, and creative in changing the approach.
Most likely career stable and in the top tier income. Potentially a company shareholder or owner.
Owning their possessions in life, rather than the bank holding a loan for their possessions.
Their upbringing:
Mostly likely in a balanced environment with wins and losses throughout life. They are generally compassionate and understanding of their peers with continuous encouragement. Or had to fight really hard to get there and never wants to go back.
Type 2
The fighter, yet always 2nd or middle field player, who gets emotionally just a bit too invested.
The hissy fit.
Personality: Most likely a colorful person with mediocre to high IQ, and high to very high EQ. Someone full of ideas, many hobby projects, brilliant business ideas, mid- to top-tier performer in their job as an employed person.
Partially owned, partially loan subsidized lifestyle, and always just a little behind the big shot by the skin of their teeth.
Upbringing: Most likely a bit on the rough edges with mixed messaging. Most likely always the second runner up in things they’ve tried, with little encouragement from their peers that they are a winner if they put their minds to it. Most likely self-driven by "if they can do it, I can do it", yet lacking the resourcefulness to get there.
Result, a hissy-fit when continuously losing a games, as it resembles their life.
Branded subconsciously to never win. Everything they start is fun first, but will ultimately be a challenging to endure – or its fades away.
Why? Because fundamentally they simply don't KNOW how to win or how winning FEELS like.
Type 3
The loser. Emotionally totally not invested, plays to be a team pleaser, goes with whatever is on offer but has no drive to win the game.
Personality:
Most likely low income tier, potentially on state support. Little career experimenting done in their lives, and a mediocre to low IQ and EQ. Dealing with setbacks daily and simply surrender to "that is how life works" for them, always was, always will be.
They will have little possessions to their name and majority of their fit-outs will be based on loans, lay-buys, and credit card repayments.
Upbringing: Most likely in an unbalanced and /or neglected environment, fed the idea of "once a loser - always a loser". When having played games as kids, the viciously have being 'beaten' by the 'competitors' such as parents or older siblings.
Reaction to losing, literally emotionless, as that is their conditioning and understanding of life. No relatable feeling to a cheering winner. Disassociation to the emotionally overly invested hissy-fit player.
...ta-dah... Did you recognize yourself in any of these types? Did your upbringing now makes a little sense to you and how it fits into your reaction to such silly tings of winning or losing a board- or card-game?
Humans are fairly simple. There is only really two version within us, and most of us lean toward the one over the other.
1. “Monkey see, Monkey do.” – Experience shapes us.
2. We rebel against what we’ve seen, and do the opposite.
As with everything in life and how we became who we are, it starts in your childhood. The conditioning to sense of self, and your reactions in life/ to games.
To break or mend such conditioning, one has to develop the awareness of self, and develop a sense of presence in life. One will need to learn to respond, rather than to react.
To create such awareness of self and presence, meditation is a great tool to train oneself.
To create a more balanced version of yourself, and to reprogram your understanding of life, enroll into the 10-week Holistic Human Development Program here:
https://www.carolinehey.com/holistichuman
With loving kindness,
Caroline