Understand the WHAT to find the WHY
Hello beautiful Souls,
Welcome to Somatic Balance.108, I am Caroline Hey, your mindfulness practitioner. In this Blog Post, I’d like to talk to you about finding your what to understand the why.
Oversharing is a trauma response.
If you are the chatty one at work, always having something to add to someone's story, genuinely experienced a lot in life and simply happen to always have an input to whatever conversation...
This is your inner child crying out loud.
You have not been met by your guardian/ parent with enough air-time. You always had the need to be heard and seen. You always have to "overshare", and need feedback for what you are doing in life. Validation of being alive, having a purpose, being "allowed" to hold a space on this earth.
This can make you appear cocky, rude, arrogant, annoying, disregarded... Worse, this can be eventually misconstrued as naggy and will fire back at you.
Reflect on how much your teammates know about you, and how much you know about your teammates.
I, myself, have come to that revelation late. And therefore, now, I have to keep forgiving myself. I didn’t know better. My trauma spoke for me.
It's not that I wasn’t aware that I am speaking more than others. For about two years leading up to the final epiphany, I cursed myself for oversharing, talking too much... I just could not figure out why am I so different, and why I just cannot shut the heck up.
Until one day, a response to my cheerful message, sent with all the "lol”s, and "hahah"s in written communication was shut down. By a simple 2 sentence reply, I felt slammed, smacked in the face, disciplined like a little child.
The response I’ve received was extremely negative. This person felt attacked, and attacked me back.
This had me reacting physically, heat arising in my chest, which I know now is the center of self-worth. Anger, disappointment, and "eureka" not being heard and seen...
I took a moment, breathed deeply, and turned in to "what is really hurting". These are just words, written out of context.
After a couple of minutes it was crystal clear. My all-time questions of "Why can't I just shut up, and let work be work?” Got rephrased for the first time into, “Why do I need to be heard, why do they not see me..." and rephrasing the question like that brought the answer alongside.
My inner child is hurting. My 6 year old self. The little girl that was never enough, never listened to, the one that raised herself from 1st grade onward... Home alone Monday to Friday after school.
On weekends, my single mother had no capacity to hear me, as that was her "down-time" from a full time job and later studies on a Saturday morning for 2+ years, when I was 8-11 years old.
There was literally nobody around to hear me.
Here I am, just a few weeks shy of 38 years on this globe - and I finally understood a pattern. Being able to see beyond, and being able to, now, tackle the issue by the root.
When you learn to understand WHAT is hurting, you can start to find out WHY it’s hurting… and then my friend,… then you can start healing.
Your body knows all the answers, we just have to learn to listen, again.
If you’d like to learn the language of your SOMA, book here:
A 10 Week course of holistic human development will teach you all the tools.
With loving kindness,