Hello beautiful Souls,
Welcome to Somatic Balance.108, I am Caroline Hey, your mindfulness practitioner. In this Blog Post, I will talk about the feeling of safety.
Feeling safe, what does that even mean these days? 2022.
Writing this blog post, I will address some stats, paired with opinions and facts. Those facts are based on life experiences from myself, and some of my patience whom consented to sharing, as well as books published about such topics.
Let’s start with some gruesome facts to get the ugliness out of the way before I will share some “dandelions growing through concrete” stories in the end of this post. It’s worth it to keep reading to the end. The premise of my work is to “heal the world one soul at the time”, and proof that every human is born [inherited] a good human.
Stats based on my location of practice.
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics 2016 Personal Safety Survey, 2.2 million Australians have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from a partner and 3.6 million Australians have experienced emotional abuse from a partner.
In Australia:
· On average, one woman a week is murdered by her current or former partner.
· Intimate partner violence is the greatest health risk factor for women aged 25- 44.
· Young women (18- 24 years) experience significantly higher rates of physical and sexual violence than women in older age groups.
· Approximately 1 in 4 women (23% or 2.2 million) have experienced violence by an intimate partner since the age of 15.
· Domestic or family violence against women is the single largest driver of homelessness for women, a common factor in child protection notifications, and results in a police call-out on average once every two minutes across the country.
· More than two-thirds (68%) of mothers who had children in their care when they experienced violence from their previous partner said their children had seen or heard the violence.
On “Global Citizen” the spike on DV during Covid is addressed:
On Monday, three new individuals were added to Australia’s harrowing list of women killed through acts of violence.
Less than 24 hours later, a fourth woman was killed.
In the 49th week of 2020, a time dedicated to honoring the United Nations 16 Days Of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, the Australian register of violent deaths targeted against women increased from 45 to 49.
It marked the first time the registry, developed by feminist movement organization Destroy the Joint, had recorded three deaths in a single day since its inception eight years ago. * https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/2020-australias-worst-year-domestic-violence/
During my studies to become a Therapist for Trauma, Grief, Inner-child work, and Men’s Mental Wellbeing, - friends and ‘family’ have gifted me with books. Books they thought I might like, and I might benefit from its content as a therapist to be. My friends know me well, I enjoyed every single book. One book in particular had me grabbing the edge of my seat whenever I read a chapter or two. I couldn’t read more than two to three chapters at the time as it rattled me to the core.
Which book?
“The Mother Wound” by Amani Haydar.
Buy here:
https://www.dymocks.com.au/book/the-mother-wound-by-amani-haydar-9781760982454
On page 130, Amani describes the following:
“I climb into bed knowing that my husband, who is kinder to me than anyone, who I love down to my bone, is statistically the most likely person to harm me.”
The book is not about her husband being violent toward her at all.
This thought was sparked by her experiences in her immediate family. Yet, this sentence engulf flaming heat in my core, tighten my every muscle, disregarding the attention to my breath, and swallowing heavily. I could relate.
To a degree, I am grateful for my own experience of such fear. If I’d never had experienced life threatening fear toward my previous fiancée, I would have never started studying the psychology behind traumatized men. Yet, I only studied it to learn about “how to get out of this dangerous relationship alive”.
It took another two years before I had healed my own trauma I had developed due to this relationship, before I started studying to earn my title and heal others.
It lead me to study Trauma, Grief and Inner Child wound therapy. Being exposed to an adult man, unable to articulate his own pain helped me to understand. Specializing on healing souls, mending hearts, teaching how to have safe conversations, and men’s mental wellbeing, is my calling.
The book, “The Mother Wound”, was a gift on many levels. After consciously removing the images of my own past flicking before my eyes, I immediately reminded myself of the moment I felt safe for the very first time in my life.
It was so profound.
It was foreign to me.
In the moment itself, I was in awe how my entire body responded to being safe for the first time in my life, at the age of 36.
You might wonder what was the key experience that had me feeling safe?
A healed man. A man who has healed all his own wounds before entering a woman’s life. A (hu)-man that understood ‘it starts with oneself’. He presented himself solid, arrived, aware of his duty as a man toward a woman. Treating a woman with respect.
Humans are born good. – Dalai Lama
Conditioning dims people’s light and ushers some of them into a dark pathway of lifestyle choices. Yet, everyone can be redeemed with the right type of help. Someone who listens without judgement.
If you are in a concerning relationship, or you know someone who makes comments that spark your concern, please lead them to:
AUS 1800 737 732 operating 24hrs
USA 1800 799 7233 operating 24hrs
Or reach out to me and I will make sure to forward you the matching contact point.
Stay safe,
Caroline